I Know What I Need to Do - So Why Can’t I Do It?
By Christina Jassi
Founder & Clinical Director | Finding Joy Psychology
You know you should go to bed earlier.
You know avoiding that email is probably making things worse.
You know you need to exercise, set the boundary, make the appointment or stop overthinking the decision.
You may even understand why you keep doing what you’re doing.
So why is actually changing it so difficult?
At Finding Joy Psychology, we’re interested not only in WHAT needs to change, but in the HOW of change.
Because knowing what to do isn’t always enough to help us do it.
The Gap Between Knowing and Doing
We can have lots of insight into ourselves and still feel stuck.
You might know that you’re overthinking because you’re frightened of making the wrong decision.
You might recognise that you avoid things when you feel anxious.
Perhaps you understand that perfectionism means you put things off until you can do them “properly”.
Understanding these patterns is important.
But insight is often only the beginning.
The more useful question can become:
“What is getting between knowing what I want to do and actually being able to do it?”
Sometimes Our Patterns Are Trying to Help Us
Many of the things that keep us stuck make sense when we understand their purpose.
Avoiding something uncomfortable can give us immediate relief.
Overthinking can feel like we’re protecting ourselves from making a mistake.
Putting something off can temporarily reduce overwhelm.
Sticking with familiar habits can feel safer than doing something differently.
The problem is that something that helps us in the moment can sometimes make life harder in the longer term.
Sometimes It's Not About Motivation
There are also times when you genuinely want to do something but getting started feels incredibly difficult.
Planning, prioritising, remembering what needs doing and starting tasks all rely on our executive functioning.
These abilities can become harder when we’re stressed, anxious, exhausted, in pain or overwhelmed. Some people naturally experience greater difficulties with them too.
So telling yourself to “just get on with it” isn’t always helpful.
Sometimes we need to make the task easier for our brain to begin.
So How Does Change Actually Happen?
Usually not through knowing more.
Change often comes through doing something differently, little by little.
That might mean:
- making the first step smaller
- learning to tolerate some discomfort rather than immediately avoiding it
- changing something in your environment
- practising a new response
- finding strategies that work better for the way your brain works.
Sometimes motivation comes after we begin, rather than before.
One small action can create the momentum for another.
A Question to Take Away
Think about something you already know you want to change.
Instead of asking:
“Why can’t I just do it?”
try asking:
“What is getting in the way — and what would make the next step easier?”
That small shift takes us away from self-criticism and towards curiosity.
Because meaningful change isn’t always about trying harder.
Sometimes it’s about understanding HOW to move forward.
Ready to Begin Your Joyful Journey?
At Finding Joy Psychological Services, we help adults, children and young people understand the patterns that may be keeping them stuck and find practical, meaningful ways forward.
Through psychological therapy, CBT, EMDR, executive-function coaching and our wider psychological services, we focus not only on WHAT you want to change, but helping you discover HOW change can become possible in everyday life.
Our aim is to help you feel heard, gain clarity, make meaningful change and rediscover joy in everyday life.
Get in touch for a free 15-minute consultation to explore what support might be right for you.
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